I don't know what is up with me lately. I've been way too emotional about
this stall. I go from being really depressed about it to really excited
about breaking it, and I get really gung-ho about exercising and eating
less, then I get really angry if I do something like have one bite of a
croissant, then I get really depressed again. I AM still using Fitday, I
skipped a couple of days and then used it again yesterday, and even on the
days I didn't use it I ate about what I'd been eating for the days I was
using it. So, I know I'm not overeating. I'm going and working out even
when I don't feel like it, but I have very little enthuisiasm for it any
more.
It used to be, I'd get weighed and measured every month at Curves, and I
wouldn't even think about my weight until those monthly weigh-ins. But my
happiness was not a reflection of the number on the scale. Now I find
myself weighing at home every day on my cheap, unreliable scale from
Wal-mart, which is still not going down, and feeling bad about it.
I want to keep working on losing weight, I want to hope for an end to the
stall, but I wish my emotions weren't so tied up in it.
I have found in the past that when I really want something, the straining,
yearning, desperate hope for it doesn't make it come any sooner. All it
does is make the waiting harder. It's like when you want a relationship,
and you want one so badly that you have this aura of desperation around
you. I finally woke up one day and had to face the possiblilty that I
might be single forever. It was scary and sad. But I faced it, I
visualized my life as a single woman forever, and it wasn't as bad as I'd
feared. I realized I had friends, family, interests, and enough good
things about me to keep myself occupied for the rest of my life even if I
never have a partner. I still wanted a relationship but being single
wasn't the end of the world anymore. The desperation left, and I became
more attractive to the opposite sex, and now I'm dating again.
I wonder if I should apply the same sort of thought process to weight loss.
Keep limiting carbs and calories, keep exercising, but become at peace with
the possibility that I may be this weight forever. Twenty pounds less
would be better, but this weight isn't the end of the world. I don't have
to be miserable if the scale doesn't move. I don't know if there's some
cosmic process at work here beyond simply "calories in, calories out" but I
do know that the brain and the body are connected, and changing one often
changes the other. So maybe if I stop fighting so hard (emotionally, not
in the practicalities of what I eat and how much I work out) my body will
start cooperating. People do get over illnesses quicker when they have a
more positive outlook, could it be that a more positive, peaceful,
emotionally balanced mental state could help with weight loss as well?
--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.